Worthy & Whole-hearted Vulnerability

roses and reflection in window

I deserve roses–I am worthy

I watched the now-viral TED talk by Brene’ Brown on Vulnerability. She says that the people who are most able to be vulnerable are the ones who are whole-hearted, who feel themselves worthy.

What makes someone feel worthy, and therefore, secure enough to be vulnerable?

I think it has to do with self-care.  A person who feels less-than-worthy will not take the effort to care for herself with good nutrition, proper rest, creative activity or other maintenance activities or exercise. Even if the person has good overall habits, she will not risk upsetting the apple cart to add something new, even if it is part of the dream.

Risks make her too vulnerable, if she does not feel worthy and centered in her self-esteem.

This is why today, I bought myself roses, and I took a picture with me reflected in the window (look very closely to see me).

I am worthy of roses, even if they did come from Aldis and they are not quite fresh, they are roses, they are beautiful and so am I. I am worthy. It is all right for me to reward myself for making new habits and accomplishing my short-term goals. Roses last longer than a chocolate bar.

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10 Responses to Worthy & Whole-hearted Vulnerability

  1. I think that’s a beautiful thing to do for yourself. You are absolutely right about being worthy, you know. 🙂 I have struggled with self esteem and feeling worthy myself quite a few times, but recently I decided I’d had enough. Have a wonderful day!

    • Thank you, Crystal. I wonder what would help women feel their own intrinsic worth

      • I think it goes back to childhood, honestly. I think that women can be more intuitive and often feel negativity even if it isn’t voiced, but often it is. We get messages from the time we are little what women are less than…it’s in our culture even now in our entertainment, advertising, and it invades our lives daily. I think for women to feel their worth we have to start encouraging each other. As adults it’s much harder to change our ways of thinking, but I think it’s possible if we support one another. I’m not talking about excluding men, men are wonderful (just ask me about my hubby), but I think hearing positive messages helps women perceive themselves better. At first it’s encouragement, but eventually we start sending those messages to ourselves and we feel our worth at that point and become confident. Sure confidence comes from within, but digging out of a hole is easier with more than one person.

        • We do need to hear back from others, we need encouragement, especially as we are often shown as being backstabbers to each other. I have often wondered if I could trust my own perceptions of events around me, since the “common sense” was a different idea than what I see with my own eyes. After nearly a decade of therapy, I decided that I was not crazy, but that I lived in a crazy world. So, little by little and step by step, I’m building a new world view, especially of myself, of women in general, and of me. (I like them too, though I’m not with one at the moment.).

  2. Donna F Hammett says:

    Self-worth is the most hard-earned commodity known to man or woman. Some of us have inklings of what it must feel like and some even soar into the rarified levels where we feel it occasionally but it has a bad reputation in that it requires a lot of compliance in most people’s minds. To have self-worth that others notice, to many, means the right outfit with the right accessories and toeing the line in behavior and spirit. That is the anchor that keeps most people below the rarified air where you breathe self-worth continuously. It would be better if those seeking self-worth also asked for a side order of individuality and a small glass of dignity to complete the “meal.” Most individualists have self-worth but they use it as a means to exploit themselves rather than to lift up others. I am ready to return to the hopeful “Age of Aquarius” mindset when the world was going to come together finally and live in harmony. I think I have a long wait…

    • No, my dearest friend Donna, SELF-worth has nothing to do with what others think. Being self-absorbed is not the same as self-worth. It is only a person with NO self-worth that must look to others for it.

      What they think is none of your business. You claim your own dignity, your own worthiness, of which you have acres and tons…like the guy with the diamonds in his back yard. That’s what the roses were about–my claiming my own self-worth with a $4 gift to myself that is not harmful (food?) but is only affirmative.

      I wish you could see yourself with the love that I have for you, with your delicious individuality and your 32 oz.tumbler of dignity. Whether others notice or not is not your concern.

  3. jbkaminski says:

    I love buying myself flowers. I used to think that flowers were a gift from someone else. Now I buy flowers for myself because I truly love who I am.

    • Charlotte Henley Babb says:

      Thanks for stopping by. We forget that the commandment is to love others AS we LOVE OURSELVES. What kind of love would it be if we treated others like we often treat ourselves.

  4. Cheri says:

    Good for you–both for recognizing your self-worth and for celebrating it. There’s a movie I want to see, but hubby doesn’t, so I’d been figuring I’d just have to wait for it to come on cable rather than subject him to it (and me to the griping!), but just today I thought that what I really should do is simply treat myself to a matinee in the special balcony section, complete with snack service to your seat. Your post makes me think that wasn’t such a crazy idea after all.