I heard my coworker complaining about one of our prospective students–one we probably don’t want. How hard it was to let her speak her truth and not try to change her mind. That her words irritated me shows me that I still want to fix other people.
That doesn’t work. It really doesn’t work when they don’t ask to be fixed, since they don’t see themselves as broken. That’s my perception.
Heal myself is all I can do.
Speak what I want. Think what I want. Meditate on what I want. Ask for what I want, and work while I am waiting for the answers to tell me what to do next. It’s so simple.
Not a big ritual with lots of drama. Not an unpronounceable incantation. No fireworks or immolation or pain. Simply changing my mind, at the right time, NOW.
It may not be my job to figure out how I can get what I want, what steps to take, what jobs to do, because first I must believe, and imagine, and trust that what I want, wants me too.
No, that’s not very realistic. But so far, realistic hasn’t done much for me. I do have to pay the bills and go in to work every day, at least for now, until I can see what the next step is. I can be at peace where I am as I am working and waiting. After all, the job I have now is a cinch compared to others I have done.
It’s a manifestation along the way to have a full-time job with benefits doing work I like and learning new stuff every day. It’s a manifestation to find old pastimes boring and to be restless for writing and other creative activities. It’s a manifestation to see beauty in both sun and rain, wind and calm, weeds and flowers.
It hasn’t always been that way, but I am learning. Think about what I want ONLY. Say what I want ONLY. Find those rosy, optimistic glasses and put them over my mental filter. I am more aware every day of the good things that come to me and how lucky I truly am. The more aware I am, the more blessings come my way.
May you, too, blessed be.
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