If you think your past should have been perfect, your present is tense, and your future is conditional, based on what you are thinking now.
Nobody ever had a perfect past. Nobody. How would we learn anything if we did not have challenges, disappointments, failures and roadblocks, as well as successes, victories, and top-of-the-mountain experiences?
So while in grammar, there’s a past perfect, that only means the action is over, done with, and gone, perfected only in that it is already complete.
You can’t change the past. You can be upset about it. you can base your present moment on it, and you can let it color your future.
You can look at it differently.
Various techniques help to release the emotional energy stuck in the memories of the past. Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT, also known as tapping, helps to separate the trauma from the event, so that it is just a memory, not a constant, emotional state of mind. Without removing the emotion, the event is part of your filter through which you see life. When that filter is altered, your perception, and therefore, your reality changes.
Without changing your thoughts, your present and your future cannot be what you want it to be. If you are always afraid, you won’t be able to do what you need to do to succeed. If you think you are a victim, you will find ways to attract victimizers. If you luxuriate in righteous indignation, you’ll find ways and reasons to stay angry and not do anything about the situation, bringing yourself immune-system damage, loss of mental capacity, and stress fatigue.
Of course, all this drama has a payoff: if you are incapable of taking action because you are too tired or too sick, you are “off the hook.” Your future becomes more and more conditional, as in, you can look forward to less and less future, less and less quality of life.
So, accept that the past was perfet. It is completed, and it has given you the present, the gift of who you are with your current skills and strengths. The present is now, the only time you have to do something about whatever you want to be, do or have. With a new perspective on the past, your future can unfold to your specifications.
The condition of your future depends on releasing the tension of the present. Relax into now. Be here. Think happy thoughts of what you desire, and allow the conditions of the future to rearrange themselves in your behalf.