I am escaping the J.O.B….at least one job, and opening to the possibilities of a new life. Right now I don’t know how things will work out. I’m looking for new work, listening to myself and making the effort to change the negative feelings of fear and shame into new perspectives of how I can thrive, keep up my obligations, and begin to work my dream.
I’m not sure what working my dream means. I know that I have always wanted to be a writer, but like many wannabe writers, I have not written. Writing is fairly easy for me, until I try to see what the story will be. But I can see beyond the academic rehashing of others’ words and putting spin on descriptions so that they are emotionally loaded with appeal.
Ironically, the last critique of my novel said that it did not express the emotions of the characters, so I am doing another rewrite. I hope the first book is the hardest, because I have others to write, and so far, I have not really started them. I had hoped to have a rough manuscript of the sequel nearly finished by now, but I did not focus on doing just that.
Focus is the key, picking one direction and taking a step at a time, on and on in that direction until I see where it is taking me. Will Rodgers once said that if even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
The good news is that, unlike a train wreck, I can get back up and start moving again even after being run over. There is a kind of freedom in knowing that a long time job is ending, the end of an era, the beginning of something new.
The last time this happened, I was also getting divorced and remarried. I did learn something that time…I’m single this time, with only my own baggage to deal with. My daughter is grown, though she lives with me right now; this may give her the momentum to launch with more focus into her dream of being an artist.
To freedom, to life, to abundance, however it comes.